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Sunday, May 16, 2010

12 tasks for hercules

Think Hercules had a tough time doing the task given to him? Now if he needed some Unfeasible tasks i got a few for him(based a little bit on the chores I had to do) here goes:

1) Cleaning all the weeds from my mom’s garden. Do that in the burning sun and humidity which would put a sauna to shame. And the tool you have to use is a shovel which is broken and may at any minute turn in its axis to cut the user’s foot in two.

2) Clean the water tank the water has to be drained away. ( Hercules better not wear his best shirt to the job when doing this) The stubborn sand at the bottom won’t come off leaving the person frustrated and with a migraine.

3) Catching cat fish from the drained off well like structure. For your information, cat fish know how a human thinks, it’s filthy, it bites, and it gets into the hardest to reach corners.

4) Attending the class of our management professor and, (here comes the tough part) staying awake the whole time. The most resilient of students from far off corners of the college have tried this task. The most one has managed is half of the hour, and the record was set by an insomniac kid. ( well insomniac till he attended the class at least )

5) Stealing food from the school canteen where I did my 12th. It’s like a tough communist ration center there. Or a prison canteen.

6) Eating the bonda made in our college canteen, Seems refreshing? Well sometimes I think they are made with tortoise shells and titanium shavings. Biting it means loosing a tooth or more. My friends buy the bonda to use as a throwing weapon, it’s an excellent projectile.

7) Reading my accounting book, and comprehend at least one line from it.

8) Cleaning my room. Hercules may have cleaned the Augean stables but when he takes one look at my room he may start hating himself.

9) Try to apply for any government identity card in Kerala. If he gets the job done in less than three months he deserves more than just a place in the book of Guinness records.

10) Turn into an inanimate object or into a lower life form like a dog or cat. I bet he can’t do that. Neither can I, but we are discussing Hercules here.

11) Get our washing machine to work. I will even pay him for this.

12) Last but one of the toughest of challenges, hang around with me for a whole day. Between the blunt jokes and moronic mistakes. If he still manages to pull through he will be disqualified on the basis of failing a mental test.

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